If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. A gaslightingvictim is fed just enough truth to make them more accepting of a lie, like hiding a dogs medication in a treat. Broken Cycle Medias owner and founder, Tiffany Reese (lookieboo), has more than 51.5k Instagram followers. Oh man this podcast starts off with high hopes, but quickly becomes a shit show. Many times Id come home to $300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the fridge. I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. Yet. Quite honestly, knowing the waves of clarity waiting on the other side, I would walk through that valley again. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. I still believed some literal lies told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after finding out they were lies. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. You didnt show nearly the same excitement once you saw me. Outwardly hes a good person, Ive heard or read multiple times. I know God literally commands us to be at peace and find joy even in terrible events; I just couldnt help but feel like joy would be a dismissal of the travesties, the economic and political devastation, worldwide deception, division and all-out spiritual war happening. The people we surround ourselves with are who we will reflect, so hopefully were all chasing something that freaks us out on some level. Im thankful for this past year, because my God is quickly turning a dark time completely around into something beautiful. Time slowed down as I heard yelling and watched what felt like a movie scene. Minor fundie drama + a little dear john creepiness in this podcast. Its the only explanation, and the overarching joy in my freedom is a testimony to what He wants for all of us in a world full of stories like mine. Bravery is a choice of action regardless of fear being present. I have plenty of work I can get done. I was devastated and scrambling to recover whatever Id done wrong. Read reviews and listen to Something Was Wrong on Chartable. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Sign up free 0:00 0:00 Company About Jobs For the Record Communities For Artists Developers Advertising Investors Vendors They move on to their next conquest, leaving behind a shell of a person who thinks their lack of direction is their own fault. What will we attempt when we no longer see our lack, but His potential? Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. You're not alone; there are men who are open and will freely be there to listen & walk with you. There were certain daily routines he started from the beginning that he never wavered on, even near the end. 17-12-2018 Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Broken Cycle Media is the company behind the well-known podcast. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. Ive wondered if its an affront to His design when Christians continually refer to themselves and the church as wretched or even sinners saved by grace. (Here we go! That was a very basic version of why I kept going and didnt run for the hills when little things shifted. With a list of reasons why he shouldnt pick them up, or boldly jumping into his arms with excitement? Listen on Apple Podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher At that moment this thought/impression entered my mind: If you could see as I do. He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. Thats whats happening. Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. On a small scale, Ill do a mental scan of my upcoming week. I remember early on in our relationship, he handed $20 to a homeless person we walked by and later told me he kept 20 dollar bills in his pocket at all times for those exact opportunities. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Psalm 37 has been brought to my attention more than once its not a gentle read. I could hold conversations, but knew something was broken and my mind was doing its survival thing by blocking out and shelving trauma. Nothing will hurt you. I have these conversations with my close friends all the TIME about what God is showing us, and what we feel Hes doing but I dont vocalize it on a more public platform because I have a diverse friend group and never want to alienate those who think and feel differently than I do. He is extremely active on social media, especially Twitter, and he would fly into picking fights and arguments that he would gleefully show me, especially around Christian topics. As an ex-Evangelical, there are a lot of dog whistles that indicate the young woman being steeped in evangelical purity culture. I must have looked nuts, laughing and assuring him Id never been better while he tilted his head and looked at me, asking if I was ok. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. I got major fundie-lite vibes from Season 1 (Sarah and Dick). I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. Studying him and being sensitive, I set the grocery bags on the ground to hug him and was met with stony silence. More Than Work. I have nothing to lose by sharing His story but maybe some pride, which I have to kill. It has nothing to do with exposing him as a person, but everything to do with re-constructing my own sense of reality, up from down, right from wrong. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not that thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. And if youre hearing Saras story for the first time, wellyoure in for a wild ride!Show Notes:Something Was Wrong Podcast (Saras story is Season 1)Follow Sara @spaceandpurposeFollow Kaitlin @kaitlingraceelliottFollow SWE @so.what.elseKaitlins Website. Its taken me nearly a year to break apart and analyze every mystery, every gut-punch, every moment of confusion. One moment, someone he knew was a genius. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Somehow hed known this comment would get under my skin. When I saw that print in the store, someone with me tried to shoot it down the second I reached out to touch and look at it. 2. . The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. If I got distracted and checked out from making a daily connection with Him, I always knew I had Sunday to reset and re-center myself. In your creativity, couldnt you have put togetheranything else rather than humans who would constantly fail you and be unable to manage anything well on their own? . There is Something Wrong with my Girlfriend - Scary Stories from The internet - Creepypasta (Podcast Episode 2023) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Social Media Pages Share This Show Latest Episodes [Diana] The Devil in Disguise. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. I could fart and hed call it blessed. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. They looked too harsh. I would also have to memorize the entire piece well enough to not freeze and draw a blank in front of crowds. They wont see the truth of who you really are or arent. Ive gone through seasons of counseling twice now. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. If its a hectic one or has something Im not looking forward to, Ill reach further and look for a break in the clouds to set my sights on, and let that ray of light keep me focused. Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. Everything is fine., (I watched Jane the Virgin obsessively for multiple reasons, a big one being her developing her identity as a fiction writer.). When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. . I can see why people write the whole thing off, especially after hearing about how I allowed my dog to be treated. Our convictions are woven tighter and our testimonies grow more powerful. 6h. When we receive the gift of what Jesus did for us,He isnt looking at our shortcomings, so why should we? In fact, many times he had opportunities to share grace and love with those who had differing beliefs, and instead he cornered and shamed them, calling them out. Especially women. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to actively seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. Its not gonna just go away.). Anyone who knows me well knows that I play devils advocate for just about anyone. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. I know all too well that I couldnt have rescued myself. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. Ramonas left eye. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? A lot of Sara's experiences happened or were made worse by her indoctrination. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. ), We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. I was stunned. Our creative and faceted personalities. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. His driving was aggressive, earning him multiple tickets. Last night my mind was jam-packed with the horrific events I cant stop reading about. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Bravery doesnt require the absence of fear. Fall has always been a favorite. I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. One day, I would hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so much. Narcissism 101, my friends. Jenna Dewan Leaving The Rookie Rumours: What Happened To Bailey Nune. If you need any of these things, buckle up and get comfy cause Im setting aside this post for some very personal comparisons to research Ive been doing. Claim This Podcast Do you host or manage this podcast? Not trying to shame Sarah at all, what she went through was horrible and no one deserves abuse. I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. Jake cheated on Kailyn when they were dating by seeing other women. Listen Now Season 12 10 no. For those wondering and asking, I truly am doing well! Welcome to a spiritual war. Dipping my toes in some frigid waters!) Podcast Reach. It was take me back to the beginning. I wasnt sure why. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award Winning docu-series podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. A good Father does not take away to leave a permanent void. Which season or episode(s) are you recommending? I was so excited for an entire weekend with a couple of my favorite people! Seems like probably Season 5 - "Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches". It reminds me an awful lot of rubbing a dogs nose in his own urine when he goes in the house. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. I guess chicks that write have blogs now, so thats me. I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. The pain of wondering and uncertainty is realand often buried deep. (I realize not everyone reading this shares my beliefs. Claim and edit this page to your liking. One of the things I value most is treasuring the personal information of my friends. (Imagine that going down in 2018. You dont say! Season 9 features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery who the f*ck is Ardie? If we dont feel capable, there is Grace and we can ask for help! Its not that religion is bad but when she was primed to believe men knew best and were in charge. We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we do the things we were put here to do. Required fields are marked *. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. To let Him tell me its ok to feel anger, and, surprise: learn about His anger on my behalf. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) The next, they were idiots. Take me back to the beginning every single day. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. But Jake and Mimi got divorced in 2021. Real-Time. https://somethingwaswrong.com/episodes/ This thread is archived Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! Its fine, Ill just spend the weekend at home. Agreed, it frustrated me that they werent touching on how religious communities can create environments ripe for abusive relationships. You will see me use language like "saved wretch" because I'm a Christian who remembers sanctification is progressive & my salvation is secure while God finishes His good work. Her grandmother passed away in 2009. He is light in the darkness. Holding on to hope, whether for their spouse or for the sake of their kids, many stay. It's wild because this was suggested to me by Spotify YESTERDAY. Something Was Wrongs 14th season contestant Jake Gravbrot was married to Mimi Gravbrot. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. Welcome to a spiritual war. Totally. Its fine! (I remember a breakup years ago where I showed up to his house ready to set us both free, and when he immediately called it, I threw him off by breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying oh thank God through happy tears. 1.Something was wrong podcast : r/Sacramento - Reddit; 2.Uncle Johnny on Twitter: "I started listening to Something Was 3.Something Was Wrong: A Podcast About A Woman Who Called Off 4.Something Was Wrong Podcast Review - And Other Great True 5.Something Was Wrong - ART19; 6.Kimmy & Brian Something Was Wrong - Apple Podcasts thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. (Including but doubtfully limited to: texting me as 2 friends (a married couple with kids) that hed completely fabricated since week 2, and seeing other women at the same time via different dating apps than hed said hed been on when we met. In a recent interview with Trae Holiday, Omari Salisbury, a co-founder of Converge media, discussed Jake and his interactions with the press. He said once or twice that he wanted our house to be an alcohol free home. He would set new rules, but change them when he pleased, often joking about my wine problem.. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) After the gym, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat. It is that simple. For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing. As Iridian begins her new job, the workplace gossip and odd interactions circle closer and closer to home. But I started listenin Mon night & am 9eps into S1. As Slyvias symptoms worsen, so do Tees suspicions that Sylvia is hiding something. Show Notes: Especially after marriage. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. Later while I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, the tears started coming and I couldnt stop them. Like she belongs to US and then YOU after marriage. Abuse Recovery, christianity, Uncategorized. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. Terrifying, simultaneously, to see how this strategy operates and deceives intelligent and discerning people. Regardless of sexual orientation or life goals, I think women want to know if they are needed and desired while simply being. The more I piece together, the more freedom and healing comes. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . Learn more about your ad choices. Let me recklessly forget about my weakness as my awareness of Your strength grows. I was told this past week that when were wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. On my off days, when Im not focused on how God sees me, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal. I enjoyed my life and MYSELF when this tall man dressed in a red suit holding a pitchfork showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to lose it and see myself as worthless. They pointed out how it was technically inaccurate because it was taken out of context. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! It scared me numerous times. Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. Mine was all mental, so I minimized it because outwardly it didnt appear as dramatic as others stories. Same to you, other quiet ones. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as The Bubble. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. I believe the story from The Year that is No More is not my own. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. Charts. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. (Do you kinda feel that? Thats all, folks! I added much to his life. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Definitely worth a listen if not simply for seeing how problematic the religious beliefs discussed are and how they primed this woman for a deceptive and emotionally abusive relationship. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. But they do have a son with name Barry. (I thank God for my lil bubble community all the time, by the way.). I believe it wakes us up to ourselves and gives us a path towards radical change. On TikTok, Jake has several videos with a total of roughly 61.7 million views. (Im obviously an empathetic person, but even I secretly rolled my eyes in those moments!) Happy Tuesday from Tennessee! I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. I may not be all things, but I can be obedient and He is faithful. (Many of which Im still figuring out a year later.) Me. A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. I had the wherewithal at that moment to hold my ground. Tell everyone on your staff to treat Mark McKinnon like a contagious disease. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. Same! The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats, This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w . Clarity kept me focused and I knew what hed said. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Tap it differently and it will sound better. And the idea of parents having that level of control over a 30 year old woman made me sad. Despite being encouraged in music my entire life and told I was a natural, I believed internal lies that said I was faking it. I had zero idea how Id measure up in any way to the groups of strangers my age who didnt talk like they spent summers reading books or watching black and white movies. We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. ), Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? What an injustice. It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. My mom still references the night she and my dad told us they were giving us money for the wedding. I grabbed the bags from the car, crossed the parking lot to greet him while my roommate continued on into the house, and when I saw his posture I paused. Pretty dang quickly. Like yeah, it's easier to break up than divorce, but marriage is not a death sentence that can't be undone. !" bc wanna Google the MF. The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didn't think of herself as "brave." But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats all He wants. At this point, Im ready to use my writing to shed light, validate, and set free. Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. For the first time, I ignored this person and put it in the cart without even knowing why, because I never buy prints. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Why? I might be crying and feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, and juggling everything ELSE he does! In a healthy relationship, how does a typical child run to their dad? He was so soft. This is why isolation vs. community involvement is a big factor here. The verses right before the ones I shared: v.10: For as the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. It seems easier in the moment, but at what hidden costs? No backhanded comments or sarcasm. Well, apparently he could hear me (oops) and he asked who I was talking to in the bathroom. Join our Discord server --- request access. They kept harping on doing something before Sara or others "walkdown the aisle" as if that was the end all be all of existence. Hope: the day light broke through the trees and warmth poured in. Something Was Wrong started as a way of documenting the experience of Sara, a woman who thought she was marrying the man of her dreams, but as the podcast's title suggests turned out to be incredibly wrong. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. If you are a man & want to discuss anything like mental health, suicide, therapy, or addiction, my email is always open. If you need help or perspective, I'm always glad to help or be a listening ear. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? I know non-religious people get abused, but indoctrination makes it so much easier to be in an environment ripe for abuse. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I know is the right thing to get done. What about now? I mentally ask as I sift through rental listings, schlepping myself to and from unit viewings and even applying for what I thought was my dream spot.